Location Earth Dog Tags
Location Earth Dog Tags$12.99 from Earth Bound Dog
You see, when I get abducted by aliens I can usually convince them to take me back home, just by being charming and good-looking or by meeting their ransom requests (eg. 47 bags of Doritos and a case of root beer). Then comes the hard part of giving them directions, given the vastness of outer space and the language barrier. So I can absolutely appreciate this dog tag with super accurate and elaborate diagrams to help our friendly extraterrestrials to safely and peacefully return their abductees to Earth. And what have you got to lose when it comes with an Alien Abduction Money Back Guarantee?